The Birth Order Book by Kevin Leman

Author:Kevin Leman
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub, pdf
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Published: 1998-10-31T22:00:00+00:00

Nine days before the semester started, North Park relented and let me in on probation, with the understanding that I carry a twelve-unit load. My dad cashed in some life insurance policies to pay for room, board, and tuition, and I was on my way to college!

During the first year, the “fear factor” (fear of having to go to work) kept me going. Despite woefully weak preparation in high school, I eked out a C average. But then I ran out of gas. I guess I thought I didn’t have anything left to prove. In my sophomore year I fell behind and started failing fast.

I also failed in areas other than academic. Reverting to my high school habits, I sought attention by teaming with my roommate to rip off the ice cream conscience fund (established because of a faulty machine in our dorm that dispensed free ice cream) and buy pizza for our entire floor. We saw our crime as more of a prank than anything else. In fact, we made sure we told everyone we had done it. How can you get attention if you don’t advertise?

Two days later I attracted the kind of attention I didn’t want. The dean called me in and asked if I knew anything about the theft of the conscience money. In true lastborn fashion, I manipulated things a bit and said, “Yes, sir, I have heard that unfortunately some inconsiderate person has stolen the conscience-fund box.”

Well, the dean knew I was lying through my teeth, and he had no choice. He suggested that I’d had a hard year and I needed a rest—permanently—from North Park. I thought about his offer, and it seemed like an appropriate time to leave. I was failing my courses, and the dean had completely failed to see any humor in the conscience-fund caper. Besides, spring weather is always nasty in Chicago, and my parents had just moved to Tucson, Arizona, where it was nice and warm.

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